The Stuff of Legends
by turbomagnus
Summary: They promised each other that their friendship would be the stuff of legends. AU; Clark and Lex never ended their friendship, Lois never came to Smallville. Clark and Tess are a couple.
1. The Stuff of Legends

Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental _multi-fandom_ project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. For more details, see the relevent section in my profile. This is The 365 Project, 8 April.

AU; Clark and Lex never ended their friendship, Lois never came to Smallville. Clark and Tess are a couple. I may have typed it, Clark and Lex may have played their parts, but the original blame for this idea lies with Ron White since it was inspired by one of the tales he tells on stage.

Disclaimer: "Smallville" is the property of Warner Brothers Entertainment and DC Comics and is used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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"The Stuff of Legends"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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Clark Kent and Lex Luthor were friends, the best friends, they had once agreed that their friendship would be 'the stuff of legends' and it was. When a 'meteor-freak' - the Smallville slang term for one of the meta-humans that had recieved their powers from the meteorites caused by the destruction of the planet Krypton - had killed Clark's first girlfriend, Lex had been the only one who could talk Clark out of returning the favor.

'Revenge isn't the answer, Clark,' Lex had said, 'If you think it is, you'll just wind up like me.'

Knowing how much Lex hated the man Lionel Luthor had tried to turn his son into, Clark had let the cops handle the situation after that. When Alicia Baker's murderer had been killed six months later during a patient riot at Belle Reve Mental Hospital, the Kansas farmboy hadn't asked any questions. He had a good idea what had happened, though. Especially with the Luthor family's monetary contribution to Belle Reve for 'increased patient security measures' that was in the news only days later.

The favors went both ways; when Lex had found out that Lionel had left him with another family member that Lex hadn't known about, it had been Clark who went with him to meet the half-sister that Lex had never known; Tess Mercer, born Lutessa Luthor. Why Lionel had put his name on the birth certificate and let her be named Lutessa Luthor instead of Lutessa Jenkins and then had nothing further to do with her was a question nobody could answer. When he had seen the birth certificate, Clark had looked at Lex and asked one question in deadpan seriousness.

'Lionel and Lillian... Lucas, Lex, Lutessa,' Clark had listed off, 'It makes me wonder if your thing for Lana is because her name starts with an L as well.'

'My full name's Alexander, remember?' Lex had retorted, 'Though yeah, I can see your point. But, hey, that's my excuse, what was yours?'

Clark being there when Tess and Lex met for the first time had been a good thing. Not only had he provided Lex with morale support, but he had also managed to keep the two Luthor siblings from killing each other - though Tess had been quick to point out that she was a Mercer because the Luthors hadn't wanted her, causing Lex to answer that he didn't even know about her until now and if he hadn't wanted to get to know her, he wouldn't have came. Clark had broken in and pointed out that instead of being mad at each other, the one they should be angry with was Lionel for abandoning Tess and never telling Lex about her. Tess had folded her arms and brought up the fact that when she had been involved with Oliver Queen, he hadn't many good words to say about Lex.

'Oliver never did like me after Patricia Swann chose me over him,' Lex had pointed out in response.

'Actually, that was something in your favor,' Tess corrected him, 'Considering that I caught him with a blonde cocktail waitress less than a week later.'

Knowing the Luthor propensity for revenge was almost genetic, when Tess had smirked after saying that, Clark had groaned, 'What did you do to him?'

'I keyed his car...' Tess answered, only for Clark to raise the same eyebrow he did when he knew Lex wasn't finished yet, '...slashed all four tires, took a baseball bat and took out the headlights... I may have carved something into the seats... and I might even have put the thing in his swimming pool when I was done with it.'

Clark had looked at Lex and shook his head at that and the proud look on the other man's face, 'She's a Luthor alright.'

The most unexpected part of the trip to meet Tess, especially for Lex, happened a few months later, after Tess had moved to Metropolis. She and Lex had been getting to know each other slowly, but apparently she and Clark had been moving a little faster; or at least that's what the first thing that popped into Lex's mind was on the day he walked into Clark's apartment and found his best friend and his half-sister making out on Clark's couch.

'Clark! You don't date your best friend's sister,' Lex had insisted, 'There's unwritten rules about that sort of thing.'

'I thought the Luthor family motto was that rules were for other people?' Clark retorted.

'As she's so fond of pointing out, Tess grew up a Mercer,' Lex answered defensively.

Tess had laid her head on Clark's shoulder before answering, 'In this case, I'll make an exception on the Luthor-Mercer thing. That's a stupid rule that other people can follow, because we're not.'

Lex chuckled and looked at Clark, 'Welcome to the family, brother.'

Ironically enough, Lex had taken the news of Clark and Tess being in a relationship better than Clark's remaining parent had the weekend that Clark had taken the Luthor siblings with him on a visit back to Smallville and the Kent Farm. The three of them had been outside in the barn's loft, Clark's childhood 'Fortress of Solitude', when Lex had gone inside the house to get a drink and noticed Martha Kent standing at the window staring out at the barn.

'I guess you'd prefer it if Clark were seeing Lana or Chloe,' Lex had commented

'He can see whoever he wants, he's a grown man now,' Martha had answered, 'I'd just prefer it if my son wasn't seeing a Luthor.'

'It could be worse,' Lex shrugged, causing Martha to turn and look at him with hard eyes.

'And just how is that?'

Lex smirked, 'Clark could be involved with me instead of Tess.'

The look on the mother's face at that moment was well-worth the lecture he got from her son when Clark learned what Lex had said. That had been a month before and now the trio were back in Smallville again, staying at the Luthor mansion this time since Lex had something he wanted to show off to his best friend and de facto brother. The problem Lex faced, however, was that Clark just wasn't that impressed by his new car.

"Lex, you've got Lamboghinis, Porshes, Ferraris, what's so important about this one?"

Lex rolled his eyes, "Clark, I don't think you understand the intricacies of Mercedes-Benz engineering - I've got the three-inch wiper blades that keep my headlights clean in a rain storm."

"Yeah?" Clark looked back over his shoulder at the bed of his pick-up truck before looking back to grin at Lex, "I've got a place to sleep with your sister."

Lex fell back on the only defense he had to that, "_Half_-sister."

The fact that it caused Clark to just start laughing at his friend proved just how weak a defense that it was. When Tess joined in, Lex knew that he had lost the battle.

"Laugh it up, you two," Lex would claim that he wasn't pouting if confronted with it, "Maybe I should go tell Martha about you living together and see what happens. I bet you'll get a long lecture on 'living in sin' or whatever they call it."

Clark looked at Tess, who gave him a smile and a nod, before he answered, "Maybe at first, but I think we'll get away with it if we tell her our news."

Lex looked at them suspiciously, "I'm not going to be an uncle, am I?"

"Not yet," Tess answered with a slight blush, "Clark, help me?"

With Lex looking on, Clark stepped behind Tess and while she lifted her red hair up and away from her neck, he unlatched a necklace and pulled the end of it out from under her shirt. Carefully, while Tess let her hair fall back down, Clark slid the object hanging on the chain down and into his right hand so that when Tess held out her left, he could place it on her finger so she could show it to her brother where it belonged. When Clark put his hands on Tess's shoulders and she held out her hand so he could see the ring, Lex looked it over; it was a sterling silver setting in the shape of two dolphins circling nose to tail, they had small vibrant blue sapphires for eyes and in the middle between the dolphins, held in place by their fins, was a pearl. The perfect kind of ring for someone who loved the ocean and water as much as his sister did.

"Not an uncle," Clark commented, "But how about a Best Man instead?"

Knowing that this would mean the man he thought of as a brother would really be his brother, brother-in-law at least, Lex grinned and nodded, "Sure, if you survive telling your mother."


	2. Sidestory : Before He Cheats

Summary: Tess didn't take finding Ollie cheating on her as well as the two of them let on that she did; in fact, their parting was less amicable than they claim. Companion piece to "The Stuff of Legends".

Disclaimer: Smallville is the property of Warner Brothers Entertainment and DC Comics and is used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit. "Before He Cheats" is performed by Carrie Underwood and is also used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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"Before He Cheats"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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_'Oliver never did like me after Patricia Swann chose me over him,' Lex had pointed out in response._

_'Actually, that was something in your favor,' Tess corrected him, 'Considering that I caught him with a blonde cocktail waitress less than a week later.'_

_Knowing the Luthor propensity for revenge was almost genetic, when Tess had smirked after saying that, Clark had groaned, 'What did you do to him?' _

_'I keyed his car...' Tess answered, only for Clark to raise the same eyebrow he did when he knew Lex wasn't finished yet, '...slashed all four tires, took a baseball bat and took out the headlights... I may have carved something into the seats... and I might even have put the thing in his swimming pool when I was done with it.'_

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Dawn broke over Star City, bringing with it a new day full of opportunity. For anyone familiar with old Chinese sayings, this would set off mental alarms as there's one about opportunity being found in chaos... and while people are always looking out for opportunities, they sometimes forget to be wary of the chaos. The night before, Oliver Queen had seized an opportunity and reveled in it, now he was about to meet the chaos.

Amidst laughter after Oliver telling a tale from his school days, he escorted his night's companion out the door of the mansion so that he could drive her back to her own apartment. The laughter and their forward motion both came to a sudden stop as Oliver realized the lack of something very important to that plan and vocalized his confusion.

"Where's my car?"

While Oliver was standing there looking around and frowning, a tow truck pulled up and the driver stuck his head out of the window.

"We got a call about a sports car in a swimming pool at this address, is that right?"

Oliver stopped looking around and looked at the tow operator. "A what?"

The tow operator opened his door and dropped to the ground, a clipboard in his hand, "Car in a pool."

"Who called it in?"

The driver checked the paperwork on his clipboard, "Says a woman named Mercer made the call."

Oliver's face turned pale, then went green, before he left his companion and the tow operator there and took off running around the mansion. Moments later, the two left standing in the driveway heard a scream of horror coming from the back.

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The previous night...

If there is a difference between 'a woman scorned' and 'a woman betrayed', it is so small as to be almost non-existant in scale, the stuff of quantum physics and string theory - if such things could be applied to the human heart and human emotions, and some would ask if betrayal itself is not a form of scorn. On whichever side of that thin line it fell, however, the simple fact was that a woman walking into the house which she shared with her boyfriend and discovering him in a 'compromising situation' with a cocktail waitress was something that invited, nay, demanded retribution. Sometimes that retribution would be delayed, waiting to be unleashed until an opportune moment, the 'dish best served cold' of proverb, but other times...

Tess Mercer stormed out of Oliver Queen's mansion in a haze redder than her hair, if she had stayed even a second longer, she couldn't be sure what she would have done not just to Oliver himself, but to the blonde-dyed trollop he was bedding as well. Whatever it would have been, though, painful was almost a forgone conclusion and even through an angry haze, Tess didn't feel like serving time for assault and possibly even attempted - or successful - murder, so she stormed out, not knowing where she was going or what she would do when she got there. She didn't really care, for that matter, as long as 'where' was not there and 'what' had nothing to do with Oliver Queen.

That was, at least, until she found herself walking between her Corvette and Oliver's own Porshe, her car key in her hand, and Tess stopped and looked at the car parked next to hers, a low growl forming in her throat as her eyes narrowed, then suddenly she lashed out with the key in her hand, gouging a line down the side of it. The line of silvery-bare metal on the previously clean white paint-job was satisfying, but not nearly enough so as to fill Tess's desire to make Oliver pay for cheating on her. Raising her car key to eye level, Tess looked at it for a moment before circling around to the rear of her car and using the key to open the trunk.

With a hard smirk, Tess pulled out a baseball bat from inside the truck - a leftover from a Saturday date where Oliver had taken her to the Star City park and its batting cages only a couple weeks before. Shutting the trunk and pocketing her keys, Tess walked back around her car and over to the front of Oliver's Porshe. Almost casually, she swung the bat out to the side and smashed both headlights, frowning as she looked at her handiwork. It just didn't seem enough. Walking around to the passenger side of the Porshe, she pulled her keys back out with her free hand and opened a small knife that was on her keyring, adjusting the way she held it in her hand, she then drove the knife into the sidewall of the front-passenger tire before opening the door on that side and using it on the leather of the seat. After climbing out of the passenger side, the two rear tires met the same fate as the front-passenger while Tess made her way around the car to the driver's side. Before opening the driver's door, Tess took her knife to the last tire, then opened the door and finished on the driver's seat what she had started on the passenger's so that the Porshe's interior now bore her name; 'T-E' on the passenger seat and 'S-S' on the driver seat, the baseball bat was still in her other hand and on a whim she used it to smash the rearview mirror while she was at it. Something, however, still felt missing and Tess looked around as if trying to find what it was. In doing so, she noticed that the gate that led back to Oliver's pool - wide so that the pool cleaning service could get their truck back to it - was standing open. With a diabolical, almost demonic grin, Tess knew what was missing; Oliver's car needed a good bath.

A few minutes later, if anyone else had been there and awake to hear it, they would have heard a scraping sound as the bottom of the Porshe drug against the edge of the pool, following by a splash as the rear end dropped into the water while Tess stood to the side and watched.

"Maybe next time he'll think," Tess commented to the night air, "Before he cheats..."

Now satisfied, Tess slung the bat over her shoulder as she turned away and headed back around to her own car to leave...


End file.
